Hitting financial rock bottom, the ebbs and flows of the soul

Hitting financial rock bottom, the ebbs and flows of the soul

The disguised blessing about hitting financial rock bottom is that your future can only move in one direction…and that’s up.

A few years ago, I was at my lowest point financially in my adult life. I had recently quit my job at one of the world’s largest tech companies in search of something better. What that “something better” was, I didn’t know and I didn’t care. All I knew was that I deserved to be treated better by the people I spent 10 hours a day with every weekday. And you know what, it was the best decision I ever made.

I now have all the professional respect and financial prosperity I could have dreamed of.

Sometimes you don’t need to know what you want in life. You just need to know what you don’t want.

During my rock bottom year, I searched for the perfect job, refusing to settle for a salary or work environment that didn’t feel absolutely stellar — all the while blowing through what little I had in investments and retirement savings just to pay my mortgage and feed myself.

I was verifiably broke. I ate $1 frozen meals from Walmart, couldn’t afford to go out with friends and cut out every first world luxury I had come to love (dollar store hair dye, anyone?).

But you know what? I was at peace.

Something had shifted inside me. It was deep, mysterious and soulful. Similar to the way an undercurrent guides a raft on a river, my every action was permeated by a sense of grace guiding me to my destination. I was bearing witness to the greatest connection I would ever come to know…a connection to myself.

I spent more time alone than I ever had in my life. My days occupied by three-hour walks, tennis, yoga, volunteering and house visits to friends and family. I came to know who I was in a way not possible had I been caught up in the rat race of the working world. The happy hermit.

Despite my growing anxiety about my lack of income, I knew buried within the reservoir of my being that I was going to be alright. I. WAS. GOING. TO. BE. ALRIGHT.

Was I single when I quit my job? Yes. Did I have mouths to feed? No.

Does this mean that women in different circumstances can’t do what I did? Absolutely not. Quitting your job when you have real world responsibilities is not a decision to take lightly. But you will know if it’s the right choice by trusting your gut. Yes, your gut.

Let’s talk about this a bit. It’s time to get airy-fairy.

Your gut is just a fancy way of saying your intuition. And your intuition is your straight, clear, impenetrable path towards the unknown world of spirit, god, whatever you choose to call it. Following your gut is your only ticket to happiness in life. It takes a tremendous amount of strength to find it and act on it, and trust me it will be challenged, especially if it is telling you to quit your job.

Every ounce of material security you have come to know will start to crumble before your eyes and you will question every life decision (not matter how small) you’ve made to date. BUT…and this is a big but…if you can soldier through the darkness of hitting financial rock bottom and trust that you are being taken care of, guided to make the right choices along your journey, you WILL come out on top.

This has been my truth. The person who gives it all up only to gain it all back, plus more.

My only hope is that if you too ever find yourself in a job that does not serve you – allow yourself to feel the discomfort and let the unsettled rumblings inside you rupture in a way you haven’t known.

It may just be your saving grace.

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